"Consequence is Hanging There..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

rainbowjehan: this film, abby, that I am watching. is about how george washington cannibalises children.
rainbowjehan: I am not making that up.
mhari: .... oh.
mhari: my.
mhari: what is it called, i may have to relay it to chat.
mhari: they like that sort of thing.
rainbowjehan: I want you to be fully appreciative of that. // The Washingtonians.
mhari: i stand in awe of your cinematographic fortitude.
rainbowjehan: thank you.
rainbowjehan: OH MY GOD OUR HERO JUST FOUND GEORGE'S LITTLE CHILD-EATING FORK.
mhari: ..... eep
rainbowjehan: AHAHAHAHA.
rainbowjehan: Fork: Hi! George loved me very much!
rainbowjehan: GEORGE IS COMING TO GET THEIR DAUUUUGHTER.
mhari: ohnoes!
rainbowjehan: OUR HERO VENTURES INTO THE DARK NIGHT ARMED WITH NOTHING BUT HIS PAJAMAS.
mhari: dun dun dah!
rainbowjehan: OUR HERO'S CEREAL IS FULL OF FINGERS. LEFT THERE BY GEORGE.
rainbowjehan: PRE. SUM. AB. LY.
mhari: :o
rainbowjehan: OUR HERO FEARS FOR HIS LIFE, BUT A HISTORICAL EXPERT COMES TO HELP HIM.
rainbowjehan: EXPERT TELLS OUR HERO THAT SECRET SOCIETY IS AFTER HIM DUE TO THEIR MISSION OF PROTECTING WASHINGTON'S TRUE IDENTITY.
rainbowjehan: THAT OF CHILD SNARFLER.
mhari: oh
mhari: that
mhari: makes perfect sense
rainbowjehan: "Our first president was a fiend, a child eater" THAT IS A REAL LINE.
mhari: righty then.
rainbowjehan: this is the funniest horror film I have ever seen.
rainbowjehan: I do not care if it is not supposed to be a spoof of the national treasure films, THAT IS WHAT I BELIEVE IT TO BE.
mhari: heeeeee
rainbowjehan: AHAHAHA THE EXPERT SHOWS OUR HERO HIS SECRET JOURNAL FULL OF HISTORICAL CHARCOAL SKETCHES OF GEORGE NOMMING ON BABBIES.
mhari: IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE
rainbowjehan: FLASH. BACK. SEQUENCE.
rainbowjehan: A RUSTIC DINING TABLE. OLD-TIMEY CANDLES.
rainbowjehan: A FOOT ON A SILVER PLATTER.
rainbowjehan: FUCK YOU CANNIBALS EAT THEIR VICTIMS RAW, AMERICA, THEY CANNOT BE BOTHERED WITH COOKING.
mhari: that's amazing.
rainbowjehan: Isn't it?
rainbowjehan: EXPERT: IS YOUR DAUGHTER A VIRGIN?
rainbowjehan: OUR HERO: NO SHE IS TEN.
rainbowjehan: EXPERT: WELL YOU'RE FUCKED THEN MAN.
rainbowjehan: OUR HERO: ...
rainbowjehan: OUR HERO: DAMMIT.
mhari: ....
rainbowjehan: OH MY GOD ABBY.
rainbowjehan: EXPERT: SEE THE CHERRY TREE REPRESENTS GEORGE'S LOVE OF VIRGIN NOMS.
mhari: ........................................ ...
rainbowjehan: oh god it hurts to laugh it hurts.
mhari: *picks you up off the floor*
rainbowjehan: "We are thrilled to have you for dinner." WE ARE THRILLED TO HAVE YOU FOR DINNER.
mhari: ............. i see.
rainbowjehan: THIS SHIT IS BANANAS.
rainbowjehan: HA HA HA HA HA.
rainbowjehan: "These forks were carved entirely from the femurs of the first continental congress" I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
mhari: ........
mhari: .......................
rainbowjehan: "He first acquired the taste [of his homies] during the long winter at Valley Forge".
mhari: oh my head.
rainbowjehan: and then he realised THAT SHIT WAS DELICIOUS.
rainbowjehan: "WE FUCKING ATE THOMAS JEFFERSON".
mhari: .............
rainbowjehan: OUR HERO: DON'T TOUCH THEM. EAT ME. EAT ME YOU SONS OF BITCHES.
rainbowjehan: THAT IS A DIRECT QUOTE.
mhari: i see.
mhari: dear hollywood, why.
rainbowjehan: I DO NOT EVEN KNOW.
rainbowjehan: AND THEN THE FUCKING SWAT TEAM SHOWS UP.
mhari: OF COURSE IT DOES.
rainbowjehan: MACHINE GUN FIRE ALL AROUND.
rainbowjehan: SIX. MONTHS. LATERRR.
mhari: om nom nom nom
rainbowjehan: WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.
rainbowjehan: alkjflksjfalkfj WHAT THE FUCK.
mhari: o____o
rainbowjehan: DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS SIX MONTHS LATER ABBY?
mhari: n.
rainbowjehan: THEY SWAP OUT GEORGE ON THE DOLLAR BILL FOR GEORGE BUSH SENIOR THAT IS FUCKING WHAT.
mhari: ........................................ ..............
mhari: oh ok.
rainbowjehan: ....
mhari: what in the world did you just watch. XD
rainbowjehan: you know what? I WAS NOT FAZED. NOT UNTIL THAT.