"Are Women's Hearts Such Fickle Parts to Falter So...?"

To-day I am feeling a little better. My eyes and my head hurt some, but not too much, and my sore throat is still raging; but there's no dizziness or anything like that.

I think I feel well enough to go to work.

But. I'm afraid that whatever this is will be infectious, and I don't want to give it to any of my people. Lots of them have weakened immune systems, and in a residency like that illnesses spread like whoa-crazy. It would be kind of a small-scale disaster to introduce this thing of mine into them, and make all my beautiful people ill.

But I do feel well enough to go in, and I do miss them (those are both selfish things), and if I don't go in Mary might have to work on her own (is that less so? I hate working alone).

Ought I go or stay home? *worries* What's fairer?

"Honesty Left Me..."

Feeling much worse. Treadmilled, to see if some exercise would help, which it doesn't seem to have; called off work. Guilty.

Have developed a cough, now, which agitates my throat.

The only good thing is this means it can't be something I did to myself. I would feel too guilty to manage if I'd made myself ill. I used to. In school. I don't remember, I only remember that I went to the nurse's office all the time, and finally she let me help her with silly little things all during the lunch hour, but I always thought she was just doing that. Mum says she did it because I was getting teased, and she was hiding me. She says I made myself sick all the time, about the time I'd have to eat lunch, sometimes earlier, and everybody knew it was psychological and whatnot, and. I did it to get out of things, you see.

So I thought that maybe because of the play, and being so stressed, I was making myself ill to get out of things. But I don't think I could make myself have a sore throat, even though I could do dizziness. So it must be real. I think it is. I hope it is.

Now to lie down.

"The Good Man Scorns the Wicked..."

I went to sleep, but I kept having nightmares where I got really, really ill and missed tech week and play rehearsals, and the director told everybody I was a bad actor the way she told us when Kenzie quit.

Perhaps I'll be better to-morrow.

"You Have Done Wrong to Me, Madam..."

Guess who's getting (much) better? ^___^

Mum helped me buy a birthday card for Rebecca. Now I've just got to find her a gift. I want it to be something perfect.

To-morrow begins tech week for my play. Gah.

*is secretly very happy. will have pancakes of Wednesday morning, for the first time in over a year*

And I have my Buddy Holly CD back, and my Notre-Dame de Paris, thank God! And fresh broccoli!

And The Aunt Who Hates Me said it's perfectly fine that my new birthday is with them, and she'll be happy to make my cake, and it's going to be very nice.

Also, king_connie makes me deliriously happy.