"Honesty Left Me..."
May. 16th, 2005 09:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
psalm_onethirtyoneFeeling much worse. Treadmilled, to see if some exercise would help, which it doesn't seem to have; called off work. Guilty.
Have developed a cough, now, which agitates my throat.
The only good thing is this means it can't be something I did to myself. I would feel too guilty to manage if I'd made myself ill. I used to. In school. I don't remember, I only remember that I went to the nurse's office all the time, and finally she let me help her with silly little things all during the lunch hour, but I always thought she was just doing that. Mum says she did it because I was getting teased, and she was hiding me. She says I made myself sick all the time, about the time I'd have to eat lunch, sometimes earlier, and everybody knew it was psychological and whatnot, and. I did it to get out of things, you see.
So I thought that maybe because of the play, and being so stressed, I was making myself ill to get out of things. But I don't think I could make myself have a sore throat, even though I could do dizziness. So it must be real. I think it is. I hope it is.
Now to lie down.
Have developed a cough, now, which agitates my throat.
The only good thing is this means it can't be something I did to myself. I would feel too guilty to manage if I'd made myself ill. I used to. In school. I don't remember, I only remember that I went to the nurse's office all the time, and finally she let me help her with silly little things all during the lunch hour, but I always thought she was just doing that. Mum says she did it because I was getting teased, and she was hiding me. She says I made myself sick all the time, about the time I'd have to eat lunch, sometimes earlier, and everybody knew it was psychological and whatnot, and. I did it to get out of things, you see.
So I thought that maybe because of the play, and being so stressed, I was making myself ill to get out of things. But I don't think I could make myself have a sore throat, even though I could do dizziness. So it must be real. I think it is. I hope it is.
Now to lie down.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-16 01:19 pm (UTC)What happened to my complete sentences?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-17 01:41 am (UTC)Had some soup. Found a couple of cans of my nice reduced-calorie reduced-sodium Healthy Choice kind in the back of the cabinet.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-17 05:52 am (UTC)Good girl. *pets* See? Doing as I tell you is a good thing.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-17 12:37 pm (UTC)^__^ So it is! Clever Zara2. *loveson*
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Date: 2005-05-17 12:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-17 12:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-17 12:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-17 12:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-17 01:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-18 02:44 am (UTC)With a surprise in it!(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-18 07:44 am (UTC)A surprise? Ohnoes! The suspense!(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-19 05:42 pm (UTC)Bwahahaha.(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-16 01:33 pm (UTC)Being teased at school would make anyone sick - upset stomach, headaches, the natural symptoms of stress. You wouldn't have to deliberately "make" yourself ill - in fact, you probably wouldn't be able to help it.
*kills and eats all school bullies*
Ahem. Anyway, don't exercise when you're ill; you need rest, not exertion, thilly. :-x
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-17 01:42 am (UTC)Well, no. I don't think I was doing it deliberately, or I would have remembered. But it was definitely me, and not actual illness. That's why I was afraid I was doing it now and couldn't tell.
*tries very hard not to encourage you*
Oops. *apologises*
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Date: 2005-05-16 03:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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