"I am One of those Melodramatic Fools..."

I don't know why I'm feeling so tired and sad and things, because I just spent birthday money on several hundred thousand stickers and things to give to people, but--well. And I guess it's partly because I took sleep meds last night, and they won't wear off until about four hours from now. And I have to see Dr. Conti to-morrow, and refill my meds prescription, because I've been going on a three-quarters dose the last week since I ran out of the 10mg. But. I don't know, I feel like crying and just going to sleep now with the pillow over my head. I'm awfully silly.

But instead I shall try to be good, and to make my ridiculous post about Hamlet. I have a ridiculous post to make about Hamlet, since I bought my shiny new copy for thirty-five cents at a yard sale...!

First of all, is absolutely adorable copy. Previous owner was playing Laertes, and has all his lines marked and has staging notes and other notes all over the pages, which I love. One of my favourites, I think, is 'Horatio: wants to die. Hamlet: wants him to set record straight'. In the front of the book, there is a large note that paraphrases the text of the play, and says multiple times that Horatio does things out of his love for Hamlet, or Hamlet trusts Horatio because of his love for him. "Hamlet can love and trust Horatio as no one else," to quote.

The note in front does, however, say that the death of Polonius, as well as those of Gertrude, Claudius, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, Laertes, and Ophelia, are all examples of poetic and ironical justice, which just makes me wtf. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are totally fall men for Claudius, and Gertrude, for heaven's sake, if one reads the text without a particular interpretation, really hasn't done anything wrong by modern standards. Perhaps it's Elizabethan justice, but I still fail to see the irony in it. Polonius is really not doing anything wrong. In fact, Polonius is just trying to help. >____< I adore Polonius, demmit. It isn't justice for him to die. I think this carries through to Laertes, who really, really is in the same situation as Hamlet--but where Hamlet is too thoughtful, Laertes doesn't think enough. They've just got different flaws. It doesn't make Laertes an antagonist. And aksgjsklgjas lg dj OPHELIA DROWNS. SHE IS INNOCENT, STUPID, AND SHE GOES MAD AND DROWNS. The ironic justice, I see it not. Demmit.

It also mentions the 1772 Garrick Hamlet, which I wish to Heaven I'd seen. Apparently not only does Laertes never leave for France, he is also not involved in the plot to kill Hamlet with a poison sword. During the duel, Claudius tries to intervene and Hamlet runs his through before accidentally falling on Laertes' sword. Horatio tries to kill Laertes in revenge, but Hamlet manages to convince him to rule jointly with Laertes. <333 Also, Gertrude does not die, she goes v. crazy. Eheee.

Incidentally, according to two separate texts of the original Danish legend, Horatio's character was either a servant who wasn't loyal to Feng and therefore hearing his plans with the rest of the servants told them to Amlethus (or Hambleth, if you prefer); or else he was a foster brother to Hamlet.

Back to Laertes' notes on the text. All of these are [sic]. Top of 1.1: "Guards uneasy. Elder Hamlet fought King Fortinbras got territory. young Fortinbras wants his land back."

On such dexterity to incestuous sheets: "Incestuous! Heart is broken with death and marriage."

Polonius' advice to Ophelia: "Gives same advice as Laertes does. STAY CLEAR."

During the Ophelia/Hamlet get thee to a nunnery scene: "Hamlet and Ophelia conversation. Clever and hurts her. What's wrong with him? is he mad and/or crazy?"

Heart's core: "Hamlet admires what about Horatio? judgement and even nature. consistant."

Top of 3.3: "Conversation. send Hamlet to England. why? Hamlet acting crazy changing behavior."

Claudius' praying scene: "King & the murder. ---->he's paranoid. Forgiven stands in way. denounce what he has. comparison with Earthly and Heavenly justice. Can buy off earthly justice but NO BRIBES in Heaven."

Gertrude/Hamlet scene: "Hamlet sees Queen. Polonius spys on them for King. Hamlet kills Polonius. Ghost calls. Hamlet leaves mother alone. Mom thinks he's crazy."

Later: "Ophelia goes crazy. (Really!!)"

And, finally: "Return of Fortinbras with Drums. Hamlet ---> he dies. Fortinbras to be King."

--Oh, by the way, zomg. According to Historica Danica, Daddy!Fortinbras' name is Collere. That sounds decidedly French to me, which is making me wonder if it was the basis for Shakespeare's naming Fortinbras, the Prince of Norway, something so obviously French. But I'm just theorising uselessly, I suspect. :D

My other version of Hamlet I have not been all the way through yet. It is slightly less opinionated than the one above as regards the deaths and character interactions. It also thinks v. highly of Hamlet, and is always remarking upon his amazing witticisms, which makes me gigglesnort.

Also it's all "akfjslgjsl OMG DO NOT TAKE GERTRUDE'S 'HE IS FAT AND SCANT OF BREATH' LINE LITERALLY, FOR THE LOVE OF DOG. ;______________;!!! HAMLET IS NOT FAT!!! WE SAW A PLAY WHERE HE WAS FAT. IT SCARRED OUT BRAINS SO MUCH. WE CANNOT BREATHE. NONONONONO. THE PLAY IS NOT HAMLET, THE (CORPULENT) PRINCE OF DENMARK. *aneurysm*". > > It should not make me giggle.

This is all for now. We shall seek not to be so very caviar to the generallish next time we post.

"He Said, I Am Not Fighting For You Any More..."

By the way, I think I need to see Dr. Viktorrr again. I performed emergency toe surgery again to-day, with the result that they're both bleeding and it hurts madly to walk (since emergency toe surgery involves a pair of nail clippers, a cuticle trimmer, and occasionally a swiss army knife, this perhaps comes as a surprise to no one). Mum has actually confiscated the cuticle trimmer, and I am not allowed to use it any more. Honestly, my hand slipped. I wasn't really planning to cut that deeply into the nail bed.

At any rate, the emergency surgery did not actually work, and my toenails are still growing back into my feet as persistently as they have been for the last three years. >______< So to-morrow I set up an apartment. This time I am going to get them both removed entirely. I am quite tired of dealing with them. I hate the anesthesia that does not work, I hate being scared to death, it hurts too much, they always grow back, and Dr. Viktorrr hates me. It is time to get this over and done with.

I shall not be sorry to see them go.

Edit: Oh, but I forgot the best part! Waen decided to contribute some advice.

Waen: Just leave them alone!
Soujin: I caaan't. I just can't stop doing it.
Waen: Look at it this way, okay? Your toes--all your toes--are choirboys. And every time you perform your toe surgery, you're like a Catholic priest touching them inappropriately.
Soujin: ...oh, god. What did you just--I mean. Oh, God.
Waen: REMEMBER, SOUJIN. EVERY TIME YOU HURT YOUR TOES, IT'S LIKE YOU JUST MOLESTED A CHOIRBOY.
Soujin: I--I-- I can't believe you just said. I can't--I mean, God, I can't--
Waen: I thought that would help. >:D