"All That You Are is Not..."

I have been busy all day. <--I meant to type 'dizzy', which is possibly related to that fact. I have only been vaguely busy.

Yesterday, yesterday I was busy. It was another day of not really home at all, and then we were at the Oriental house until awfully late, and I got lost three times driving there by myself, all the Liverpool exits are ridiculously complicated, I'd just like to say that now, and the road directions to Oriental aren't much better. But. I got there an hour after I left, which is fairly good. It could have been longer! (I got lost again to-day by taking Morris Road instead of the one I usually take, but I made a few lucky guesses and ended up in the right place.)

I got off work early to-day because I was feeling sick and headachy, but I made myself go to the gym anyway, and now I'm feeling bothered that I did. I could have stayed home. I went yesterday and the day before and Thursday too. I do not want to be slipping. Please do not let me be slipping. I had homemade ice cream when I got home, though (cocoanut!), so that's maybe a good sign. I'm going to be fine-- I am.

And I wrote letters and thank-you notes to-day, and mostly fooled around. I didn't get much done, and Mum is leaving work. She was so happy, I know she was, but it's all gone now and she's tired and unhappy and quiet when she gets home from work and they cut all health benefits for part-time workers, which is what she is, and that's on top of the mandatory unpaid vacation time, and it's all very bad. So she's going to put her resume up and look for work somewhere else. It's so bad, because she really was happy. I want things to be okay so much, and they're not, and it's making me sick to my stomach.

But the raspberries, the black raspberries, they're up now.

( cut for whiny things )