psalm_onethirtyone: (Michel)
[personal profile] psalm_onethirtyone
Hate myself. Hate, hate, hate.

Life is not good. I am increasingly pathetic. I have absolutely no willpower, and evidentally little to no talent. Of course, this last item is nothing more than a plea for sympathy, because I am gratuitous.

Waen does not like anything I do. She said I'm just like Kate.

Why can't I make her proud of me?

Also, my diet has committed hara-kiri. It is quite dead. I shall never be beautiful. Not this week. And probably I shall cry to-morrow at Weigh-In, because I do.

Nana so insane.

And I, I am imperfect. Hate. Hate.

*crawls under a rock and stays there forever*

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowyofthenight.livejournal.com
*hugsandloveandmorehugsandgooeyloveythings!* Ignore your sister, she's just jealous. You have to learn never to believe mean things sisters say, because they aren't true.

You SHALL be beautiful, and you ARE! I'm in awe of your willpower. I can't even manage to remember to eat five fruits or vegetables a day, much less keep track of everything I eat and stop myself from eating stuff I oughtn't. You are amazing, and just because you got off-track once doesn't mean you aren't or that you aren't going to do fine.

And if you're going to insist on living a rock, I'm going to have to paint it with rainbows and sparklies. Or make it tri-coloured.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*hugsbackandclingstoandisgenerallyemotionallyandaffectionatelydependent* But when Waen says things, usually it's good to take her serious, because she's right about critical things. I just want to do something she likes.

*cries* Thank you so much. You don't know how much that means to me, and I really will work so much harder after to-day, I will.

Could you use lavender paint, please? I like lavender best.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowyofthenight.livejournal.com
I think I could add it in.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 08:35 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 07:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danica-enjolras.livejournal.com
Don't say that!!! You're sounding like me!!!!

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danica-enjolras.livejournal.com
Uh, duh. I have a self-loathing complex like no other, and you sound like me in a self-loathing moment...That's a very, very bad thing.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-06 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*huggles and pets* You ought not! You're so cool and funny and I love your LJ!

Sorry...

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-07 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] danica-enjolras.livejournal.com
^_^
*huggles like mad*
Don't worry about it!
*continues to huggle like mad*

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-07 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*is madly huggled and feels better but clings to you anyhow!*

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 07:54 pm (UTC)
erinpuff: (Default)
From: [personal profile] erinpuff
In the past two hours I've eaten a half dozen Oreos, a Rice Krispies treat, and like half a bag of Fritos. I needed it as comfort food for the debate. ;) If tomorrow weren't Wednesday, I'd make up for it by going on a walk, but I shan't have time. :p I've never even come close to attempting to start a diet, so you're several steps ahead of me already. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*sighs wistfully* Fritos. I haven't had a Frito in a million ages.

Your support is very... supporting. ^^ Thanks.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cimmerianwillow.livejournal.com
*many many great big squishy hugs* You're adorable. I've seen the photos you've posted, so I know. :) And you write LXG fic, so as far as I'm concerned, that's a thousand talent points right there ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 08:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*is hugged* Thank you for that. It does make me feel better, and it's very nice of you.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ezraslaststand.livejournal.com
Little sisters always know exactly what to say to make your life a living hell (I think it's some stupid superpower they have or something, but I dunno. They're psychic and they know what annoys you most.)
They really are just jealous.
Do feel better soon. *hugs*

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
I think perhaps you're right. *smiles a little*
Thanks. Thanks very much.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mmebahorel.livejournal.com
Everyone is imperfect, therefore you can't hate yourself for it unless you despise all of humanity for that particular reason. And I know you don't. Therefore you can't hate yourself for being human.

Also remember that there is a difference between being skinny and being healthy. The former is not an ideal state if it jeopardises the latter. Exercise is always better than not eating, anyway.

(and even us skinny people sometimes feel like shit about how we look. I'm at a perfectly healthy weight, except everything I gained is in my stomach rather than somewhere it would do some good, so I need to start exercising in an attempt to redistribute the fat if it won't go away. And I think I consumed less than 1000 calories today. I don't think that's a good thing. So see, we're all very very screwed up.)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-06 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
I love everyone and hate myself. Humanity is different from me. Me-hate is, perhaps, different from hate of imperfection; or perhaps it is just hate of imperfection in myself. At any rate, I can dislike me and still love everybody else.

>_> I know, but I have a nice little signed doctor's order, and considering the family history of diabetes, &c, it seems like something I ought to do. Also, I feel that I would like myself more and therefore be better in social situations (since before I joined WW, I was actually dropping out of every single activity that put me somewhere people could look at me. It was not good). I am trying to exercise more, however.

(*wails* I knowww! All is doom and gloom! ;_; Alas. Good luck with exercising, though!)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 09:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kateorman.livejournal.com
Last night - this is completely true - I dreamed that you and [livejournal.com profile] synaesthete7 visited me, and I was the world's worst host, taking more than 24 hours to serve you breakfast!

As for beauty... darling, from your photo, you have nothing to worry about. Eat healthy, get some exercise, but don't break your heart trying to stick to some mad plan to make you shrink.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-06 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*squiggles* You dreamed about me? What was I like? Also, what did we have for breakfast?

Thank you so much. WW is really a good plan, and when I'm following it loyally I do pretty well. It was just a disastrous week, I think. Thank you, though, because what you say means a lot.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-07 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kateorman.livejournal.com
You had a poached egg on toast. The dream also involved seeing the next Harry Potter film, which was called "Mother Reload" and involved radioactivity. No responsibility is taken for the random contents of my subconscious.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-07 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
Ooh, eggs and toast! <3 ^___^ Also, that intrigues me greatly. Do we know why it was called that? Did the director of The Matrix get hold of it?

I think I like your subconscious.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-07 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kateorman.livejournal.com
Well, the "Reload" somehow referred to the radioactivity... the logo was this brilliant strobing thing made out of cut-out newspaper letters. Heaven knows who "Mother Reload" was supposed to be (Umbridge? :-).

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-07 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*giggles at thought of Umbridge* Neat. V. neat.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-05 09:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starice.livejournal.com
*hugglomptackleect*

You should most definitely NOT listen to anything this Waen person tells you. The fact that you have even taken steps to start a diet is an amazing accomplishment, and I give you a round of applause for it, as well as five very fluffy pillows for your rock. ;) *hug*

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-06 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*hideshugsbackclings*

Waen is my little sister, actually, although no one can tell. IRL, not only do we both act like she's older, but she's also taller and looks older. People mistake me for eleven, and Waen for sixteen. It is immensely unfair.

Thank you. Thank you very much. *takes pillows and makes off with them with which to line underneath of rock*

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-06 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eponinenkind.livejournal.com
You are beautiful.

*HUGS* I know this feeling, of course, but I also know that for you, it's certainly NOT true. Your writing is amazing. AMAZING. I mean it.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-06 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
*cries* Thank you.

*hugs* Thank you so, so much. That just means so much.

...dammit, you're making me cry!

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-07 08:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eponinenkind.livejournal.com
^^;;; That was not exactly what I wanted to do. But as long as it helped... ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-07 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
It was good crying. It was 'Oh, God, I'm so lucky to have wonderful friends' crying. *hugs*

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-08 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eponinenkind.livejournal.com
Hm, I suppose that's ok then XD

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-06 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flameofdeath.livejournal.com
I don't know you well enough to know how to comfort you, but I'm always hear to listen if you need.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-10-06 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rainbowjehan.livejournal.com
Thank you very much.

Trust me, a week or so with my LJ on your flist, and there's probably nothing about me you won't know. *is heart on sleeve person*

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