"He Said, I Am Not Fighting For You Any More..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

By the way, I think I need to see Dr. Viktorrr again. I performed emergency toe surgery again to-day, with the result that they're both bleeding and it hurts madly to walk (since emergency toe surgery involves a pair of nail clippers, a cuticle trimmer, and occasionally a swiss army knife, this perhaps comes as a surprise to no one). Mum has actually confiscated the cuticle trimmer, and I am not allowed to use it any more. Honestly, my hand slipped. I wasn't really planning to cut that deeply into the nail bed.

At any rate, the emergency surgery did not actually work, and my toenails are still growing back into my feet as persistently as they have been for the last three years. >______< So to-morrow I set up an apartment. This time I am going to get them both removed entirely. I am quite tired of dealing with them. I hate the anesthesia that does not work, I hate being scared to death, it hurts too much, they always grow back, and Dr. Viktorrr hates me. It is time to get this over and done with.

I shall not be sorry to see them go.

Edit: Oh, but I forgot the best part! Waen decided to contribute some advice.

Waen: Just leave them alone!
Soujin: I caaan't. I just can't stop doing it.
Waen: Look at it this way, okay? Your toes--all your toes--are choirboys. And every time you perform your toe surgery, you're like a Catholic priest touching them inappropriately.
Soujin: ...oh, god. What did you just--I mean. Oh, God.
Waen: REMEMBER, SOUJIN. EVERY TIME YOU HURT YOUR TOES, IT'S LIKE YOU JUST MOLESTED A CHOIRBOY.
Soujin: I--I-- I can't believe you just said. I can't--I mean, God, I can't--
Waen: I thought that would help. >:D

Comments

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*sinks against, then, and just bawls*

...I--well, I did know they make me sleep lighter, and I have nightmares then. So I hope the melatonin words, and the fluoxetine, too. I got my prescriptions, so hopefully I'll have the proper medicines by Sunday at the latest. I'm almost out of everything.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

*cuddles and caresses! --is something wrong, or just in need of a good cry?*

Sleep meds, if you take them for a long time, make it harder to sleep when you're not taking them. And--they tend to disrupt/prohibit/delay your REM sleep, so that might explain the nightmares. The melatonin won't; it's good, it's natural, and it's safe to keep taking. --That's good. That'll be good.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*need good cry, and need--augh, have been feeling so awful lately, so awfulawfulawful*

Yes--that makes a lot of sense. That does. So I'll take the melatonin. --I hope--I know. I think. Thank you.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

*then a good cry you shall have-- and ;_____; I'm sorry and wish I could help.*

It'll be good. You can take it and curl up with your puffies and almond cookie and sleep and not have nightmares. But if the melatonin doesn't work, sometimes the meds are better than being exhausted. We'll just have to see.

(Also, I got the DVD today. ^^ I'll copy it and watch it soon and send it back. And HEART(S) OF HEART, thank you. ♥ ♥ and and and I saw black candles with glitter in them at the supermarket today and went EMO. :D)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*no, no, I'm sorry. I'm just so horrible and weepy right now and agga I don't know what*

ohhh. That sounds wonderful. That's what I'll do to-night--but yes, of course you're right.

(Oh, yay! Send it back as soon as possible, okay? ^^ Mum found out, and she's ready to kill me. also eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ^_____^)

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

*--no, no, it's perfectly all right. poke. just want you to feel better. ...in a little bit, I'll post pictures of Yorick in hats? ...no, wait, that won't help.*

And Cali! I forgot Cali, if she'd like to be there. I will send you happy sleeping thoughts, though if they're from me, they may not be so helpful. XD

(Don't worry. We shall copy it either tomorrow or Saturday and it shall be in the post by Monday morning at the latest. --and the one with the clear and the purple and the copper made Hamlet go EEEEEEEE. And the other one made me go LOCKET. :D)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*oh, that--rather did help. and sadly, the melatonin spaced me out so much that I didn't feel anything except floaty-happy*

Cali doesn't like my fan. she won't sleep with me if it's on. Ohh--no, they helped. Of course they helped. Thank you. ♥

(^___^ Okay! ENJOY IT ZOMG. -- Ohhhh, yay. ^___^ Yes, I picked the locket because I thought it might please you. Hamlet may have the copper if he'd like.)

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

*--well, good? to both, I think, as there are worse things to be than floaty-happy*

Aww. Goldi can't come in my room because when he walks by the fan, it knocks him over. >__> Um, also it's probably too cold for him because he has no fat. --Oh, good!

(:D I WILL. --Eeee. Thank you! And Hamlet would like to pretend it's from Horatio.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*--certainly there are, so I suppose we shall have to say good. oh. loveyouawfulmuch*

GOLDI! omg, poor kitty. *fallsover* Awwwwwwwwww.

(^_____^ AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, TOO. -- Of course he may.)

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

*--all right, then! good. ^___^ lovetheeeeee.*

Isn't that sad? XD XD And Osiris is scared of the new air conditioner.

(OF COURSE I WILL. --He shall, then! Even though it is girly.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*<333333333*

Awwwwwwww.

(YAY! -- GIRLY BE DAMNED. HE'S HAMLET.)

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

♥

*snuggles kitties. well, snuggles Goldi*

(:D :D -- THAT'S WHAT HE THINKS, TOO, APPARENTLY.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Cali likes me again, by the way. She's been sleeping with me all the time. ^______^

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

Oh, good! Have you gotten her high some more, by the way? :D

Goldi still likes it when I feed him instead of when my dad was. And the other day he curls up on my neck. And he likes the blueberry muffins I baked; I crumbled one up and gave it to him.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I tried once, and she fussed at me and ran away. XD I think it must only work with you.

Awwww. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

Aww. That's a shame. XD

... ... ...wow. I was failing at verb conjugation that day. XD I wonder if I was medicated.

But! He adores blueberry muffins. And pizza. And cheesecake. And he eats best for me and will only take his medication when I give it to him. ^^ And he sits on me more than anyone else. XD My mom thinks I'm his favourite.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I know, right? XD

...And, true to form, I failed to notice liek at all omg.

^___________^ YOU ARE.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

Well, when I come over again...! Have you catnip still? I can bring more.

... XD

YAY! :D Also, out of everyone here, I spent the most time at my grandmother's house, so that might be why.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Yes! Oh, I've still got all of it. ^__^

Well, okay, there, see. Lots of reasons, all of which still only mean that GOLDI LIKES YOU BEST.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

Good! ^^ In that case, it's a date.

...XD XD XD Sure.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Yay! ^____^

<3333333 Ha.