"It Just So Happens I Do Paint Them Green..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

I cannot really say whether to-day went well or badly.

I can say that I need to make a cake to-morrow, and that I promised to go to work, and that Karen was in a terrible car accident and is in ICU (if anyone wouldn't mind adding her to their prayers, that would be so wonderful), and that I truly do not know what is going on--really at all.

I can say that Mum told me to-day that she's afraid she raised me 'without good bones--no, the word I want is thoughtful. You and your sister never think about other people. Well, no, you think about other people--you never think about me. Neither of you ever does anything nice for me, and it seems like I'm always doing so much for you'. And she's laughing right now and dancing in the kitchen while she makes cookies with Waen--Waen doesn't have to think about the guilt that comes with this, but I do, and it's going to last for a least a week, and I'm going to try so hard, and she's going to be angry because I'm doing it because she 'reminded me'. >__< And I feel like this is such a typical teenager behaviour on my part. I'm complaining about my mother, for heaven's sake. She's a wonderful mother, and one of the sweetest, most beautiful ladies I know, and some how I'm not doing enough, and I'm glad she alerted me so I can try to correct it but she hasn't spoken much to me to-day, and when I kiss her she gives me a very flat 'don't try that' look, even though I'm not trying, I'm truly not--

Family-wise, to-day I do not win in the slightest. At the library, on the other hand, I managed four hours of rainy-day after-school shelving, and felt like a whirlwind set free, like I was accomplishing things. I was good for patron reference, got all my shelving done while juggling check-outs and check-ins, dropped an entire case of DVDs and put them all back in order, and handled my patrons really well--I think really well. I managed to drag things out of the recesses of my mind specifically for the people I was serving, and I thought, look, Soujin's a real librarian--look what Soujin's accomplishing. I'm learning this from Mary-Jane, I'm learning what to say, how to treat regulars, details that will make patrons feel their interests are being noticed--good things.

So I keep changing between feeling strong and wonderful, and feeling like a very bad child (I've always struggled with feeling like the disappointing child, between Waen and I, for what it's worth--this is so ad misericordum, though, the logic book would hate me). And I'll never get to bed to-night without being drugged, unfortunately.

Comments

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

...Now I'm sitting here trying to pronounce it, and falling over giggling because I sound ridiculous.

Answer Asta!Hamlet. Or I shall telephone you and go KleeeeengggOOOON.

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

See? See?

XD XD XD I am! Why do you think I'm logged into this journal?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*diiiiiiiies*

Ohhh, I'm sure. That's just your excuse! --Besides, I'm going to work to help with the ice cream truck in half an hour. Then I come home and make SPICE CAKE. And then to-night I watch Humphrey Bogard. :D :D :D

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm going to the library to watch a film for class, and then reading my Middle English retelling of Sir Lanval, and then finishing my Othello paper. XD But first I ought to actually shower. And eat lunch. But I can do those once you've gone? XD

...also, I checked Peter Brook just to make sure, and it definitely worked. And then I watched the first few minutes and aifakjbaknala cute. You haveM to come visit so we can watch this.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Obviously I am talking about Humphrey Bogart, and not his little-known impersonator. --Ooooh. Do you have class on Saturday? And eeee, Sir Lanval! I'm reading about Sir Percy right now. AND OTHELLO SQUEE. And if you are postponing those things, I'll leave sooner.

It's definitely our VCR. I don't know why. ;_________; AKFjaskldgjksl EEEEEEEEE. We've actually been talking about a visit, Mum and Waen and I, because, see, Waen could take the train with me to Pittsburgh, I could put her on the train to Cleveland, and then she wouldn't be scared to change trains alone, and I would be in Pittsburgh!

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

I figured. XD --no class on Saturday, but it's required watching sometime before Monday. I was going to go yesterday, but I didn't; you can't take the films out of the library, so you have to watch them there, so it's a bit stressful for me-- I figured it'd be best to do that on a brand new day. And eee, Middle English! :D Percy is mentioned in the very beginning of this (Sir Launfal, it's called). I have one page of my Othello paper (it's teensy, only two pages), but it's really only two unconnected paragraphs, one that says OTHELLO'S STUPID and one that says CASSIO'S A GIRL. -- ;_____; Don't leave sooner.

;______; I guess you can't watch L&O either, but you can bring it here! :D And YAY! The Peter Brook is all cut up, so it starts with Horatio coming to see Hamlet and then the ghost appears right then. --oooooh. That would work beautifully. And I could meet you (both) at the train station, and I'd be in Pittsburgh too! Would that be in November?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. XD --Aha! That makes sense. Well, I hope everything works out, and that no librarians decide to slice you up and use you as bookmarks for Titus Andronicus. Eeee. ^________^ Tell me what they said? --Ooooh, only two pages. <3 Nice. ...CASSIO'S A GIRL? --I'm leaving in ten minutes.

No, I can't, unless we get it working. ;___; Eeee, but I can! AND OMG EEEEEEEEEE. GHOST AHHHHHH. DADDY!HAMLET, YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF TIMING. --Wouldn't it? ^____^ I think it might be; we're still talking about it.

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

They say I'd make a good end--! --Um. They just said that he was one of mighty Arthur's celebrated knights, I think. --it's our first assignment for this class, so. And yes, Cassio's a girl! Only not really. We have to use an article that talks about how even the most powerless man among men is more powerful than a woman (that's paraphrasing-- don't hurt me, Ms. de Beauvoir), so I'm sort of pointing out how Iago leaves Cassio no choice but to put himself into a hierarchy of women. Asking Emilia and Desdemona for help, etc. ...it's kind of silly, but I didn't like the article. -- ;_____;

It goes like this!
Hamlet: Angst, angst, too too sullied flesh, etc. how weary, stale, etc. these lines don't go here.
Horatio: *peeks around a corner*
Hamlet: HORATIO. :D what make you, etc.
Horatio: Truant, father's funeral, etc.
Hamlet: Mother's medding, thrift, dearest foe, etc. Methinks I see, etc.
Horatio: WHERE, MY LORD? *nervous look*
Hamlet: ...in my mind's eye.
Horatio: *tells him about the ghost!*
Hamlet: Omg! Think it'll walk again?
Horatio: ...it already is. Look!
Ghost: *is here!*

Viiiissiiiittt meeee!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Ehee. --Awwwwwww. --That makes--little sense, but that's because I don't know Othello, maybe? I don't know.

...I WANT IT I WANT IT. EEEEEEEE. ^__________________^

Poor ghost! I will!

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

The phrase "mighty Arthur" makes me laugh. -- ...it's a stupid article. I really despise feminists. But now I'm afraid it doesn't make sense. ;_____;

IT IS CUTE. And then I didn't watch anymore, um. XD But Adrian Lester is a cute Hamlet!

Sweeeeear.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

XD XD XD --I don't despise them; I just think they probably create the wrong impression and therefore don't achieve their ends. I bet it makes sense. ZARA. I HAVE NEVER READ OTHELLO, AND I WATCHED IT ONCE WHEN I WAS TWELVE. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THE CANON.

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

--Well, I mean, she, for instance, was telling women that every time they strive to be 'equal to men,' they are just reinforcing the belief that men are superior. And I'm just kind of like WTF, THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT THEM TO DO? -- ...so why haven't you read Othello again? ...and well, it's kind of a crack!theory when it comes to these things, but I didn't feel like writing two pages of OTHELLO'S AN OTHER BECAUSE HE'S A MOOR. So, in that case, all you need to know is that Cassio's a girl.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

--Yes. See, that's totally counterintuitive and totally does not work. *__* --I don't know, exactly. ...I just sing the one song lots, because I loved the tune when I saw it performed, and it's all I remember about it at all. --Excellent! ^_________^

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

For seriously. --XD XD XD I don't much care for that song, actually. Perhaps because I don't much care for Desdemona.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

fsjkldfjs --Making sense, please.

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

...?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

--Sorry. Peter Lorre!speak for That Makes Sense!

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

-- ... Right.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

*whines* It is.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

...Also, you'd better not watch any more. Eeeeeeee, cute!Hamlet. ^___^

Upon my sword!

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

...Well, then you need to come visit me faster. Obviously. Cute!Hamlet with dreadloooocks!

Sweeeeear.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Dreadlocksomgreally? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I'M SWEARING, YOU MOLE.

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

omgreally! (http://cooperpix.com/features/feat002fs.jpg)

XD XD XD "Well said, old mole!" is my favourite, yay!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Okay, squee. That is all I have to say.

^_____________^ It's so sillyyyyy.

[thanitohercules.livejournal.com]

I heartily agree.

Exactly--! XD