"You Sunk Your Teeth, You Left Your Mark..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Dear LJ: Every time I get used to your crazy style you change it. *flail* And then I don't know where on earth I am.

Told Mum that I was not going to take the coffee shop job, and now Waen likes me (at least a little...!). So that's worked out. I'm glad, actually, just because this will be easier on her, and I think maybe I'm just looking too hard for a good job. I think after this summer I just desperately want to know whether things are different other places.

And, speaking of this summer's job, I don't want to go back. I still love the people so, so much, but I'm just--I think I'm burnt out. I don't want to go. I just don't have the energy or enthusiasm, and I feel like such a bad person for being that way, but I don't. I almost wish I was going to college just to escape the guilt that is coming with not wanting to go back any more. I am horrible. >___<

Mum and Waen and I went shopping at Lowe's to-day, and as we were approaching the store, this happened:

Waen: Hey, Soujin? Lowe's is the store where you buy tools and I buy tarps for my car.
Soujin: ?
Waen: So could you try to act less ditzy and stupid and more... guyish?
Soujin: Guyish?
Waen: Yes.
Soujin: *jams her hands down in her jean pockets and spits on the ground. except that Soujin is not really an expert at spitting, so it's a little completely ridiculous*
Waen: *facepalm* No! No! Just act like a ditz!
Little Boy: *staaaaaaares*

We also went to AC Moores, and I got supplies for making silly things for Zara to see if it will cheer her up.

I'm feeling like a really bad friend because I can't fix things. I'm just so ineffectual. I want to help, yes? I want to be good for helping and making things better, even just a little. --I love you.

This morning I went to see Gail and Delores, and then Mum and I went to Polyclinic to see her friend Sara who is in the hospital there. I made her laugh! We bought her a little stuffed chicken and some chocolate. She says the food is awful, and she hasn't been eating, but she ate lunch while we were there because she let me feed her. She made me make aeroplane noises and say 'open wide!', but she ate. Mum says she's been really bad about that, and it would probably help if she did have someone there to help her by being funny and cheerful and making things more palatable. At least I did okay for one day?

We ate lunch at Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's Pizza, and Guildenstern still remembers my exact order! ^__^ We haven't been in in about a month, but he looked at me and said 'barbeque chicken salad without tomatoes or dressing, right?'. That made me happy. Remember how Rosencrantz left? Did I mention that he hired Laertes instead? I think Laertes is gone, too, now; it looks like it's just Guildenstern. He's so sarcastic-looking, but he's nice, in a sharp kind of way. I love him. Somebody came in to try and sell him knives while we were there, and it was funny.

I bought some things for my Hallowe'en costume; so I have a start on that; and it turns out Mum bought a thingy that makes my digital camera work, so I can upload some of the pictures I've been hoarding for months. I'll probably do a picspam later this evening, since I've got so many from all over.

My digital photography class got cancelled because this one other fellow and I were the only people who signed up and then actually came. On the plus side, the instructor said as part of the refund she'd do us an intensive two-day eight-hour photo shoot and crit at different locations, with landscapes and models. She also gave me a list of nice places for landscape photography. She was really nice. ^_^

Also, I have figured out how to use the factor label method, and I can trisect a line if not an angle.

And I burned my pinky while I was washing dishes, so I shall sulk all night.

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