"You Sunk Your Teeth, You Left Your Mark..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Dear LJ: Every time I get used to your crazy style you change it. *flail* And then I don't know where on earth I am.

Told Mum that I was not going to take the coffee shop job, and now Waen likes me (at least a little...!). So that's worked out. I'm glad, actually, just because this will be easier on her, and I think maybe I'm just looking too hard for a good job. I think after this summer I just desperately want to know whether things are different other places.

And, speaking of this summer's job, I don't want to go back. I still love the people so, so much, but I'm just--I think I'm burnt out. I don't want to go. I just don't have the energy or enthusiasm, and I feel like such a bad person for being that way, but I don't. I almost wish I was going to college just to escape the guilt that is coming with not wanting to go back any more. I am horrible. >___<

Mum and Waen and I went shopping at Lowe's to-day, and as we were approaching the store, this happened:

Waen: Hey, Soujin? Lowe's is the store where you buy tools and I buy tarps for my car.
Soujin: ?
Waen: So could you try to act less ditzy and stupid and more... guyish?
Soujin: Guyish?
Waen: Yes.
Soujin: *jams her hands down in her jean pockets and spits on the ground. except that Soujin is not really an expert at spitting, so it's a little completely ridiculous*
Waen: *facepalm* No! No! Just act like a ditz!
Little Boy: *staaaaaaares*

We also went to AC Moores, and I got supplies for making silly things for Zara to see if it will cheer her up.

I'm feeling like a really bad friend because I can't fix things. I'm just so ineffectual. I want to help, yes? I want to be good for helping and making things better, even just a little. --I love you.

This morning I went to see Gail and Delores, and then Mum and I went to Polyclinic to see her friend Sara who is in the hospital there. I made her laugh! We bought her a little stuffed chicken and some chocolate. She says the food is awful, and she hasn't been eating, but she ate lunch while we were there because she let me feed her. She made me make aeroplane noises and say 'open wide!', but she ate. Mum says she's been really bad about that, and it would probably help if she did have someone there to help her by being funny and cheerful and making things more palatable. At least I did okay for one day?

We ate lunch at Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's Pizza, and Guildenstern still remembers my exact order! ^__^ We haven't been in in about a month, but he looked at me and said 'barbeque chicken salad without tomatoes or dressing, right?'. That made me happy. Remember how Rosencrantz left? Did I mention that he hired Laertes instead? I think Laertes is gone, too, now; it looks like it's just Guildenstern. He's so sarcastic-looking, but he's nice, in a sharp kind of way. I love him. Somebody came in to try and sell him knives while we were there, and it was funny.

I bought some things for my Hallowe'en costume; so I have a start on that; and it turns out Mum bought a thingy that makes my digital camera work, so I can upload some of the pictures I've been hoarding for months. I'll probably do a picspam later this evening, since I've got so many from all over.

My digital photography class got cancelled because this one other fellow and I were the only people who signed up and then actually came. On the plus side, the instructor said as part of the refund she'd do us an intensive two-day eight-hour photo shoot and crit at different locations, with landscapes and models. She also gave me a list of nice places for landscape photography. She was really nice. ^_^

Also, I have figured out how to use the factor label method, and I can trisect a line if not an angle.

And I burned my pinky while I was washing dishes, so I shall sulk all night.

Comments

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

. . . you were a guy straight out of She's the Man, ladylovely. You need a gay pirate hairdresser to help.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Will Paul Antonio and his entourage fix me?

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

They'll ruin you, because you're a spectacular girl--but they'll also make you more boyish. ^___^

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Well, then! I'll go in for it!

[bewareofitalics]

Can you get a silly moustache? Huh? Huh?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

YES.

[bewareofitalics]

Rock, paper, and scissors!

[lokogato.livejournal.com]

... 'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's Pizza'? Did I miss this somehow? Because that is FOR THE WIN. ♥ =D =D =D

It's okay to be burnt out after doing the same thing for a while, you know. Even if you are now, you might not be by the time school ends. And if you still are, that's also normal; the job you had sounds not only time-intensive but emotionally intensive. The fact that you did it at all is already a ringing endorsement of your not having to feel bad. ^____^

Trisecting an angle is just like making two more angles by adding lines. It rlyrly helps if you have a visual when you're learning it.

... also, 'demoiselle, what happened to promising to take care of yourself? *sulks more than you. D:!*

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It's this pizza shop we have in Duncannon, and the two men who ran it when it first came looked almost exactly like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Then Rosencrantz quit, and Guildenstern took over all by himself.

*clings* Yes, well. >_> I should still be able to do it. So there.

It probably does...! Our geometry book hasn't taught me yet. It explained how to trisect a line, and then said see if you can trisect an angle the same way, and you can't. So I haven't learned yet.

I do take care of myself. It was Mum's casserole dish.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

Rozencrantz and guildenstern's pizza. guildenstern remembered your order after a month. But Rosencrantz is gone and Laertes was hired. But now Laertes is missing.

... Er... Uh? I'm loooost ;_;

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Yes! There's a pizza place in Duncannon where the two men who ran it looked exactly like Ros and Guil but then Ros quit (he always remembered my order) and Guil wasn't quite as good at it at first but he hired Laertes who was even worse but Laertes doesn't seem to be there any more and so Guil took my order this time and he remembered it!

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

that's... Wow... I want one ;_;

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It is the best place in the world. Plus the salads are amazing.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

Not going back now doesn't mean not going back forever, you know. And giving yourself a break, however long it needs to be, might not be such a bad idea; after all, it would be better for everyone if going didn't feel like a chore or like something to dread.

Silly things for Zara are unnecessary. And, well, silly.

What's your Halloween costume?

(It is a complete and utter lie that I went to my evening class, ate dinner, and then came home and hid and watched Law & Order until after midnight. Except that it really isn't a lie at all. In case you were wondering where the commenting was.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I know, but I don't want them to forget me. I don't want to disappear. There have been too many personnel who came and then left.

Yes, well. >:D They're coming anyway.

...An aeroplane stewardess on the Snakes on a Plane flight.

(Is okay. Did it help?)

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

You won't disappear. Give yourself a nice break, a week or two, and then go back for a couple of hours and do your visits. You have every reason to start small. Honestly, an intact Soujin will help your people more than anything.

Pfft. Did your package ever come?

...XD. Flight attendant. (I was tempted to buy a big plastic opulent shiny from Rite Aid's Halloween section, because Hamlet would so wear it. But then I remembered that I hate Halloween.)

(I suppose.)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I came back to-day, and it was a good thing, because there was no one there and Linda hasn't arranged for anyone to work while Karen's in the hospital and I know Nakina already works another job, so she couldn't be there, but Linda didn't tell anyone it was going to be a problem, so my people were really upset and the nursing and housekeeping staff were trying to be intertaining while doing their jobs and of course it was crazy hectic, so I ran the activities and pretended to work again. *_______*

To-day. You--are amazing.

What's the different? (I THINK YOU SHOULD ANYWAY. What's bad about Hallowe'en?)

(*hugs*)

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

...

Oh, good. And I am not.

Stewardess is outdated and largely considered offensive. (It's juvenile and I hate it. A lot.)

Also, LJ's layout didn't change at all for me. Because I win.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

...right. >_<

Yes, you are. And Mum wants me to tell you thank you so much for the card--she thought it was wonderful and thoughtful of you.

Oh. ^^ Okay. Flight attendant! (I am hoping to get back at all the people who tried to scare me when I was little by ramming my plastic cobra down my throat and thrashing.)

No faaaaaaaaaaair.

[karla-yonit.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Halloween. I have no idea what to be.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Something exciting! :D

[karla-yonit.livejournal.com]

Like what? :)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Polonius.

[karla-yonit.livejournal.com]

GAAAAAAAH no. ...Though that would be really funny.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

That would be awesome.