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psalm_onethirtyoneDear LJ: Every time I get used to your crazy style you change it. *flail* And then I don't know where on earth I am.
Told Mum that I was not going to take the coffee shop job, and now Waen likes me (at least a little...!). So that's worked out. I'm glad, actually, just because this will be easier on her, and I think maybe I'm just looking too hard for a good job. I think after this summer I just desperately want to know whether things are different other places.
And, speaking of this summer's job, I don't want to go back. I still love the people so, so much, but I'm just--I think I'm burnt out. I don't want to go. I just don't have the energy or enthusiasm, and I feel like such a bad person for being that way, but I don't. I almost wish I was going to college just to escape the guilt that is coming with not wanting to go back any more. I am horrible. >___<
Mum and Waen and I went shopping at Lowe's to-day, and as we were approaching the store, this happened:
Waen: Hey, Soujin? Lowe's is the store where you buy tools and I buy tarps for my car.
Soujin: ?
Waen: So could you try to act less ditzy and stupid and more... guyish?
Soujin: Guyish?
Waen: Yes.
Soujin: *jams her hands down in her jean pockets and spits on the ground. except that Soujin is not really an expert at spitting, so it's a little completely ridiculous*
Waen: *facepalm* No! No! Just act like a ditz!
Little Boy: *staaaaaaares*
We also went to AC Moores, and I got supplies for making silly things for Zara to see if it will cheer her up.
I'm feeling like a really bad friend because I can't fix things. I'm just so ineffectual. I want to help, yes? I want to be good for helping and making things better, even just a little. --I love you.
This morning I went to see Gail and Delores, and then Mum and I went to Polyclinic to see her friend Sara who is in the hospital there. I made her laugh! We bought her a little stuffed chicken and some chocolate. She says the food is awful, and she hasn't been eating, but she ate lunch while we were there because she let me feed her. She made me make aeroplane noises and say 'open wide!', but she ate. Mum says she's been really bad about that, and it would probably help if she did have someone there to help her by being funny and cheerful and making things more palatable. At least I did okay for one day?
We ate lunch at Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's Pizza, and Guildenstern still remembers my exact order! ^__^ We haven't been in in about a month, but he looked at me and said 'barbeque chicken salad without tomatoes or dressing, right?'. That made me happy. Remember how Rosencrantz left? Did I mention that he hired Laertes instead? I think Laertes is gone, too, now; it looks like it's just Guildenstern. He's so sarcastic-looking, but he's nice, in a sharp kind of way. I love him. Somebody came in to try and sell him knives while we were there, and it was funny.
I bought some things for my Hallowe'en costume; so I have a start on that; and it turns out Mum bought a thingy that makes my digital camera work, so I can upload some of the pictures I've been hoarding for months. I'll probably do a picspam later this evening, since I've got so many from all over.
My digital photography class got cancelled because this one other fellow and I were the only people who signed up and then actually came. On the plus side, the instructor said as part of the refund she'd do us an intensive two-day eight-hour photo shoot and crit at different locations, with landscapes and models. She also gave me a list of nice places for landscape photography. She was really nice. ^_^
Also, I have figured out how to use the factor label method, and I can trisect a line if not an angle.
And I burned my pinky while I was washing dishes, so I shall sulk all night.
Told Mum that I was not going to take the coffee shop job, and now Waen likes me (at least a little...!). So that's worked out. I'm glad, actually, just because this will be easier on her, and I think maybe I'm just looking too hard for a good job. I think after this summer I just desperately want to know whether things are different other places.
And, speaking of this summer's job, I don't want to go back. I still love the people so, so much, but I'm just--I think I'm burnt out. I don't want to go. I just don't have the energy or enthusiasm, and I feel like such a bad person for being that way, but I don't. I almost wish I was going to college just to escape the guilt that is coming with not wanting to go back any more. I am horrible. >___<
Mum and Waen and I went shopping at Lowe's to-day, and as we were approaching the store, this happened:
Waen: Hey, Soujin? Lowe's is the store where you buy tools and I buy tarps for my car.
Soujin: ?
Waen: So could you try to act less ditzy and stupid and more... guyish?
Soujin: Guyish?
Waen: Yes.
Soujin: *jams her hands down in her jean pockets and spits on the ground. except that Soujin is not really an expert at spitting, so it's a little completely ridiculous*
Waen: *facepalm* No! No! Just act like a ditz!
Little Boy: *staaaaaaares*
We also went to AC Moores, and I got supplies for making silly things for Zara to see if it will cheer her up.
I'm feeling like a really bad friend because I can't fix things. I'm just so ineffectual. I want to help, yes? I want to be good for helping and making things better, even just a little. --I love you.
This morning I went to see Gail and Delores, and then Mum and I went to Polyclinic to see her friend Sara who is in the hospital there. I made her laugh! We bought her a little stuffed chicken and some chocolate. She says the food is awful, and she hasn't been eating, but she ate lunch while we were there because she let me feed her. She made me make aeroplane noises and say 'open wide!', but she ate. Mum says she's been really bad about that, and it would probably help if she did have someone there to help her by being funny and cheerful and making things more palatable. At least I did okay for one day?
We ate lunch at Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's Pizza, and Guildenstern still remembers my exact order! ^__^ We haven't been in in about a month, but he looked at me and said 'barbeque chicken salad without tomatoes or dressing, right?'. That made me happy. Remember how Rosencrantz left? Did I mention that he hired Laertes instead? I think Laertes is gone, too, now; it looks like it's just Guildenstern. He's so sarcastic-looking, but he's nice, in a sharp kind of way. I love him. Somebody came in to try and sell him knives while we were there, and it was funny.
I bought some things for my Hallowe'en costume; so I have a start on that; and it turns out Mum bought a thingy that makes my digital camera work, so I can upload some of the pictures I've been hoarding for months. I'll probably do a picspam later this evening, since I've got so many from all over.
My digital photography class got cancelled because this one other fellow and I were the only people who signed up and then actually came. On the plus side, the instructor said as part of the refund she'd do us an intensive two-day eight-hour photo shoot and crit at different locations, with landscapes and models. She also gave me a list of nice places for landscape photography. She was really nice. ^_^
Also, I have figured out how to use the factor label method, and I can trisect a line if not an angle.
And I burned my pinky while I was washing dishes, so I shall sulk all night.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-17 04:44 am (UTC)I'm glad she was happy; I should like to do anything that will make her happy, you know. And-- I did. Was that all right? I didn't know if it would be appropriate at all, or if the card in particular was okay, but--
(I've never done the costumes much. When I was young enough to want to, we didn't really have the money to buy or the time, skill, or motivation to make anything. I do remember being a happy little pirate when I was six. But I haven't done anything for Halloween for about a decade. It's the costumes I don't like, really. It doesn't make sense and it gives people an excuse to look at me, and really that's not what they're supposed to be doing. So I will probably go to Julian's Halloween party in normal clothes again.)
*pokes*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-17 04:58 am (UTC)She likes you so much. She really does. ♥ --It was perfect. It was wonderful. It was just--ohhhhhh, everything about it was right and it made me cry in a really good way.
(Mum has a sewing machine, and she used to indulge on Hallowe'en that she'd sew us both something outrageous, whatever we wanted. I've been so many things I can't remember them all. And that makes sense, you know, and doesn't mean that anything's wrong with you. <3 You're not a crazy extrovert. You're a private Zara. All the same, you had better wear all black and a spider ring to the party.)
*yawns!*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-17 06:07 am (UTC)And I like her, so it works out all right. -- ♥ No crying.
(XD I can't imagine having something sewed specially like that. It's so odd. --I can wear all black and a spider ring. Except I've been trying not to buy the plastic skull rings that are sold next to the spider rings.)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-17 06:09 am (UTC)So it does. -- Good crying? ♥
(We are an odd family. :D --Ooooh. You should get a ring for every finger!)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-17 06:13 am (UTC)(I know. XD ^___~ --Don't encourage me! They come in big bags.)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-17 06:14 am (UTC)(:D :D :D Crazy. -- Ooooooooh. DO IT!)
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