"I Want You to Show Me..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

MONTHLY PICSPAM TIME. ...Not that there won't be another Hallowe'en picspam later, but, hey, you like to look at photographs, right? ...Right? ^^

The first part is dedicated to the new arrival in our house, our beloved Sugar Magnolia, who also goes by Maggie, Mags, Magmag, Magdalena, Sugar, Muffin, Monkey, Applesauce, Baby, Babe, and Orsino. Among other names.



...She went to sleep in an inner tube. ^^ OMG TEH CUTES.










Did I mention she eats grass? She eats grass. She watched the horses doing it for a little while and then started imitating their grazing.


Sandy says Bitch, plz.


But there are plenty of other attractions around the house! For example:



Mum in the rearview mirror.


Our adorable gourds! ^_______^ I picked them out.




Also, Soujin in Hats.




But the crowning glory of to-day's picspam is What Not to Wear. We know that it has been recommended in the past that Soujin go on said show; but since she couldn't get a slot, she decided to do her own offshoot. She has tried on ten truly dreadful outfits and will now describe them in arch detail so that anyone who thinks they're not so bad, really, will feel belitted and stupid. :D We assume that will stay true to the spirit of the television show. Everybody ready? Okay, here we go.

Actually, our first item, these boots, are not so bad. Soujin almost bought them. Then she realised that she nearly breaks her neck every day as it is, and she dosn't need heels to help her along.


Our first selection is a pink dress with pink embroidered flowers. As you can see, it goes from 'awful' to 'barely possible' with the scarf, but in general the colour scheme, being as it is reminiscent of being smothered to death by pink bunnies, Does Not Work.



Our second is this lovely black and white and green camouflage-type outfit. You can't tell, but it's spandex. It's all-purpose! You can wear it while hunting in style! Unfortunately, it doesn't flatter curves.


One of Soujin's very favourites; it's a lovely silk print dress. We will charitably describe the pattern as 'busy'.



While this dress renders the wearer rather lumpy, as it has not enough fabric in the hips and too much in the bust...

...it does have one advantage. It's SPARKLY.


Me, I love horizontal stripes.


It's hard to do photographical justice to this next one. It's a knit skirt and poncho ensemble, in a maroon colour. It's lumpy wool, and-- and it's a miniskirt. Did I mention that? A miniskirt and miniponcho. Check it out.


The best part is that it was on the plus-size rack. Plus-size what? Six-year-olds?

Me, I love vertical stripes.


We did find one pretty dress. Here is Waen wearing it:


Which brings us to the Lace Monstrosity. It's beige and unflattering, and it has shoulder pads. And lace.



Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Soujin, nobody could be flattered by all that lace. The jacket's awful. Take it off. I bet it looks better off.

Unfortunately, you're wrong there.
THIS PICTURE HAS BEEN REMOVED DUE TO ITS HIDEOUS NATURE. THERE WILL BE NO MORE VIEWINGS. >:(

Since I know everyone's brains need cleansing after that, this next one is rather too covering. It is a nice shade of red, but that doesn't stop it from looking like a raincoat.

...A raincoat with a rilly ugly belt.


Finally, we'll close up this month's episode with a leopard-print minidress with high collar and pockets.



Wasn't that special? Coming next month: SHORTS. >:D

...I hope at least someone laughed, because I have thoroughly embarrassed myself. I shall now go eat lots of ice cream.

Comments

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

^____________^ Spaaaaaaaarkly dress. My prom dress was just like that, except much longer and with loads more fabric. I shed glitter all over serpent_dreams when we danced too close. Thanks for reviving good memories. ^_______^

(You're also gorgeous--really you are, even if you managed to find the very least flattering dresses in the history of EARTH. ^__^ And Maggie is built something like a bear. ^_________^)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It was sort of fun. If it had been bigger, it might have been comfortable/wearable. Now I want to see your prom dress. ^_^

(You have no right to say that when my head isn't even in most of the photographs. And aren't the dresses SO AWFUL? XD Most of them were averaging thirty to fourty dollars, too. -- She is!)

[gileonnen.livejournal.com]

When I go home for Thanksgiving break, I shall scan our prom photos! ^____^

(You're head's in loads of photographs! It's in the hat pictures and one of the Maggie pictures and some of the dress pictures, a little--but anyway you're quite fine without the head as well, although I'd rather not see you decapitated . . . and yes, yes they are. My prom dress was twenty. ^_____^)

[maranz.livejournal.com]

OMG SQUEE PUPPY!!!!! OMG SQUEE SOUJIN!!!!




...I actually really like that stripy dress.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

OMG I KNOW PUPPY! ^____^ --I have not talked to you in for-ever! How are you?

...

...

It's not as bad as most of them.

[silverdragon262.livejournal.com]

Those gourds look delightfully like birds.

Maggie is very cute, but I have to say that Sandy would still steal the show... if not for the inner tube photo. Too cute.

I almost like the beige monstrosity. In a sick sort of way that involves me never having to wear it. It has shoulder pads!

Also, hats. I really do know you too well. XD

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Don't they? That's why I posted them. The middle one is so confuzzled. ^________^

Sandy has the nicest eyes. ^___^ But the inner tube. Oh, Lord. I just about died. She was sleeping in it!

I think if I were about twenty pounds lighter I could pull it off; but I'm not and I couldn't, and thus it is Ugly. XD

You do. So sad.

[mhari.livejournal.com]

Wow, those are terrible. XD Although actually I think either the color or the cut of the first one would be nice on you. Both is perhaps a bit too too.

The best part is that it was on the plus-size rack. Plus-size what? Six-year-olds?

Hee!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Aren't they? XD It was far too much fun. To be perfectly honest, I liked the cut. It made my pudgy into cute pudgy. The colour was just akfjalskfjadlkfjaldk, though.

...Well, FOR SERIOUS...!

[anima-mecanique.livejournal.com]

Are you sure that's a dog and not an animate stuffed toy?

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I know, I know, you have to worry; but based on the fact that she BARKS ALL NIGHT LONG, I'd say she's real.

[tomecatti.livejournal.com]

... haaaaats... haaaaaaaaaaaats! I looooooooove hats ^.^ I 'specially love soujin in hats.

... I personally liked the pink dress and scarf--well, maybe it was just the scarf... and the beige jacket (but not the dress that it was for)... am i a horribly twisted person for that? I do agree that the rest are pretty awful...

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I love the hats. Hats are my best loves. You, on the other hand, are being silly. ^^

Well, as I said above, I would have liked the pink dress if it weren't pink. That colour was terrifying, but the cut was nice. And the beige jacket was a little too lacy for me. ^_^ The rest are--fjksdkglsjkf scary.

[bewareofitalics]

I want to rub Maggie's tummy. Eeeeeeeeeeesocute!

...the Lace Monstrosity looks like a dress that I wore in The Pajama Game. Mine, however, was pink, and rather less monstrous. It originally belonged to my great-grandmother. Er. And my mom would totally wear the poncho thing, with something underneath - I'm pretty sure she has something just like it. *g* (And oo, it just hit me that you would probably really like my mom's favorite store. It has lots of pretty colors and cool fabric and flowy stuff. I think it only exists in Connecticut, though. :()

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

She's so kyoooot. ^__^

Does it, really? Ehee. Pink would help it. I am of the opinion that Beige Kills Things. Poncho! ahaha! But yes. I love flowy fabrics and things. ^_____^ ooooo. No I want to see.

[eremon-lass.livejournal.com]

Although you are quite adorable, some of those dresses simply should not exist. That Lace Monstosity scalded my eyeballs. No one can wear that thing.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

^_^;;; I knowwwwww. I felt particularly that way about the camouflage spandex and the leopard-minidress. -- And my god. If I ever meet someone who can, I shall personally buy it for that person.

[jiasachan.livejournal.com]

The Lace Monstrosity is actually pretty cool, in an OH GOD MY EYES way. XD I love ugly clothing.

Also, Soujininhats is absurdly adorable. :)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

You have damaged part of my soul with those words. XD IT IS SO UGLY OMG.

^^;;;;; I love hats so very, very much.

[erinpuff]

You are adorable even in terrible clothes. ^______^

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

...I love you so much.

[josiana.livejournal.com]

Your dog is so cute that it defies all description.

Being smothered to death by pink bunnies wouldn’t be that bad, actually. It would likely be the second cutest death possible.

...Is that a snake in Waen’s nose? O_o

But, oh my. Those dresses are horrible. They look like most of the things in my closet.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Waen's dog. Waen's dog. Isn't she great? ^__^

...Yes, well, I'd just as soon not.

You guessed it!

Aren't they? XD They hurt my soul.

[nowgoesquickly.livejournal.com]

The picture posts were truly, truly brilliant. I did quite like the striped pants.

Also, is Sugar Magnolia a dog? At first I thought, "bear", but now I'm not sure. Either way, she made me smile.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ^^ The striped pants--Waen actually owns a pair just like them, except magenta.

She's a dog! A bouvier, to be exact. ^_____^