"You're Streets Away From Where it Gets the Roughest..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Hello, and welcome to our Weekly Show, I Shouldn't Have Been Allowed To Name My Own Children! This week's special guests are Mr. and Mrs. Knuckles of Sunbury. Mr. Knuckles, would you like to tell us what you named your daughter?

Mr. Knuckles: *with the embarrassment of a man who knows he's done a bad thing, and is trying to bluff his way out* I don't see that it's any of your business.

Mrs Knuckles?

Mrs Knuckles: Oh, dear, do we have to say in front of all these people? I'm not really sure I--

Come now, folks! Your daughter will be saying this name in front of piles of people all her life! It shouldn't be any trouble for you to tell these nice livejournal people. Don't be shy.

Mrs. Knuckles: Well, I mean--

Mr. Knuckles: It's okay, Renita. Let's just get this over with and go home.

Mrs. Knuckles: It's a very pretty name, you know!

It certainly is! Let's 'fess up, now!

Mr. Knuckles: *whispers something*

Could you please speak up for the audience, Mr. Knuckles?

Mr. Knuckles: *whispers it a little louder, goes red, grabs his wife's arm*

All right, thank you very much. You can go now. All right, livejournal, let's have a big round of applause for the parents of Miss ZuRiah Tichelle Nykole Knuckles, and everybody remember to leave a donation in her therapy box before you leave. Mwah. Love you guys. Have a great week!

Comments

[ren-aleria.livejournal.com]

Yeah... well Matthew what's-his-face the idiot actor who was in Contact and such, his brother, Rooster (that's not the bad part), named his son Miller Lyte.

Nothing like being named after a cheap, bad beer to show what you are worth.

And Penn of Penn and Teller named his daughter (I-shit-you-not) Moxey CrimeFighter.

Just cause you procreate does not give you the rights to name your kid something strange and moronic.

Rule of thumb, if you can't put Professor, Doctor, or Chairman in front of your kid's name without making it sound totally ridiculous -- think of a better name.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

SIGH. People are so silly about these things.

A few weeks ago in the paper there was a birth announcement for a Newcomer.

[jiasachan.livejournal.com]

Professor Moxey crimeFighter.

Actually, I kind of like that one. XD

[nowgoesquickly.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I kind of like it.

Doctor Moxey CrimeFighter.
General Moxey CrimeFighter.
Lord High Chancellor Moxey CrimeFighter.

The late hour may be augmenting my judgment, but I think it passes the test.

[nowgoesquickly.livejournal.com]

That just...isn't acceptable.

But my all-time favorite bad name story is still the one about the adult man who had his name legally changed to Trout Fishing In America, in honor of his favorite pastime.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Man, I feel like the last name just took the whole thing and made it six-hundred times worse.

XD OH MY GOD.

[nowgoesquickly.livejournal.com]

Six-hundred at the very least.

[perculious.livejournal.com]

Trout Fishing In America is a band! A very silly children's band! That makes me happy. :D Is there a connection?

[theatre-angel.livejournal.com]

My personal favorite is Suri Xenu L. Ronnette Holmes-Cruise. ;-)

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

sgklsjglkjsdgklsdlk.

[nowgoesquickly.livejournal.com]

As much as I can, I remain purposefully ignorant of celebrity gossip, and thus was unaware of the abomination that you just described. The "L. Ronnette" bit is the very, very worst.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

BLEH.

[perculious.livejournal.com]

Okay, okay, I have the best.

At HACC there's a building donated by a man whose name is C. Ted Lick. (And he goes by his first inital! Why?)

The building he donated has a cute gimmick. All the rooms are named after different kinds of trees.

The name of the building is C. Ted Lick Wildwood.

I went there for a conference about GLBTQ issues.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I. I don't even know what to say. I just.

Ahhhhhhhh.

[eremon-lass.livejournal.com]

I still get stuck on Shannyn Sossamon naming her son Audio Science. I mean, really.

This is why, despite the fact that my siblings and I all have highly unusual names, I plan to name my children out of Jane Austen novels. Or something else appropriately classical.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. That is horrible too.

Hee! Yes. I want a Jane or a Sophie. Nice sensible names! What is yours, if I can ask?

[josiana.livejournal.com]

..........D:! The poor thing.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I KNOW RIGHT.

[josiana.livejournal.com]

;_; Names are not performance art.

Also, if one were to send something to you, what address would they send it to? >_> Um. Not that I was creepy and got you something, or anything.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

That--sums it up incredibly well.

o mah! well, I think I can release that information.

[josiana.livejournal.com]

;-;

Thank you. :D I'll try and send it soon.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

Bleh.

You realise you will get a very silly thank-you note back, right?

[josiana.livejournal.com]

Gasp! Oh noes. ;___; Um. Thank you in advace. ^_^ I'm sure it will be wonderful.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

♥ ♥