"All is Working--Try to Relax..."

[psalm_onethirtyone]

Well, I have no idea what to do with my life, for the record.

I'm still doing med school prerequisites, and working on my religion major, and actually planning my senior thesis, which I am really psyched about, but I have no idea what kind of career I want and whether I should still bother trying to get into med school, after the disaster of my internship.

And I think maybe the Depakote is making me more depressed. I don't know whether that's unreasonable or not; I just feel like I've been sadder lately. But maybe that's just me. I wish I knew.

I go from being really happy to kind of wanting to find a quiet place to cry, which is where I am now. But I'm also reading about saints, which I think is cool and I really like, so maybe I just need to go and hide somewhere with my saints book and see if that helps.

I wish I didn't feel so weird and inconclusive.

Comments

[snowyofthenight.livejournal.com]

I don't know a single person who knows what they want to do yet. I think it's okay. :)

also, ♥

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

It's not okay! It's not okay!

[snowyofthenight.livejournal.com]

It issss!

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

No, it's not okay for me.

[raanve]

I am nearly 32. And still feeling weird & inconclusive.

It's totally okay. Take it one step at a time, keep your head above water, and try to live in the now. :)

Also, I LOVE reading about the saints. It's one of the few pieces of lapses Catholic I haven't quite given up yet.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

I am not allowed to feel that way! No. The rules SAY.

Idek. But I do like the saints. I love saints days and celebrating them and knowing who to pray to.

[raanve]

Man.... don't even get me started on the rules. Eff the rules.

*squeezes*

I am writing you a letter. :D Hang in there.

I am no longer a practicing Catholic, but I am a confirmed one. My patron sait is Catherine of Alexandria. (My great-grandmother's name was Katherine, and my god mother's confirmation name is Catherine, and my middle name is a weird diminutive of Catherine, so it seemed a solid choice.) Nick's is Maximillian Kolbe, who was a total badass. ;)

I am a dork.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

No, no. There are rules about how I'm allowed to feel vs. how other people are allowed to feel, and other people are so allowed to be confused, but I'm not.

*clings*

Oh, that is so cool. I always wanted to be confirmed catholic so I could have an extra name, and I've always been disappointed that I wasn't. My favourite saint is Christopher.

[raanve]

Soujin, I love you, but that's plain silly. Everyone in the universe is confused. It's the human condition. (Would that it were not so, but then maybe life would get boring fast.)

The Church & I have parted ways, but saints are good. :D I have a little Saint Gertrude here (patron saint of cats), and they can help you find stuff, and sometimes St. Claire (of migraines) gets a shout out from me. Saints appeal to me because I'm superstitious by nature, I think. ;P

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

No No No no no I will not hear this. Sorry. No.

Oh God, St. Claire is my current go-to, although she was totally CRAZY according to her biography. I think that does help, though.

[softerthansound.livejournal.com]

Weird and inconclusive is not a phase, but a state of existence. :(

But truly, no one knows what they want to do yet. Those who major in one field often end up with careers in entirely different ones. It's different for med school, true, because you need to be preparing for and involved in that continuously up until the very end, but I do think that if you examine it and decide that medicine is what you really want to do, then you'll do it.

♥

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

That's supposed to be other people, though. I'm not supposed to be the person who doesn't know what she wants.

[the-chloroplast.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean with the whole holding yourself to a different standard than you do other people. But so far everyone here has said it's okay to bounce around interest-wise for a while, and I second them. My father has a degree in forestry from VT, and he's a financial manager. A family friend has an English degree, and she's a realtor. My cousin has a biology degree, and she's going into nursing. ??

It's okay, niñita, and here is a big hug.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

ilu so much. When are you going to be back in your room?