psalm_onethirtyone: (Gross Things are Cool!)
Fun fact: it helps if your doctor's office has not mixed you up with someone else who has your same name and vaporised all your accounts. Oh, well. I have waited four years for new glasses, I can wait another month.

Mostly I am boring right now, although I am making a present for [ profile] raanve that is kind of fun! because burds. I have never done anything with burds before, and it is surprisingly tricky. I thought mammals would be the hardest animal I ever made, but nope.

To-morrow surgery. That will be fun also.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gross Things are Cool!)
WARNING there is some gross stuff in this post.

The doctor at school is magic. MAGIC. She has accurately diagnosed me with half a dozen things since I came here that baffled the hospital (which is not, admittedly, a very good hospital, but still).

So I came in yesterday and went HERE ARE MY SX:

--no sense of balance
--hot and cold flashes
--severe headache
--pain in my ears
--unbelievable spinal and neck pain
--full-body spasms

and the nurse (who is really great!) went ";___; i have no idea, here is gatorade and mucinex and come back to-morrow when the doctor is in". So I came back to-day, she listened to my list, stuck a light in my ear and went, "Yup. Thought so. Worst ear infection I've ever seen." Seriously, she's magic!

Like last semester, when I came in and was like "my whole mouth has been numb for two weeks and my tongue is coated in white stuff and nobody knows what it is" and she was like "pfff, I know a vitamin B deficiency when I see one, take B12 until it clears up" and it DID. In like TWO DAYS. because she is AMAZING.

She also found a magical yeast infection medication that I can take without having an allergic reaction, and prescribed the first thing that has ever worked for my migraines, and also always tries to make sure stuff is affordable.

I am making this post to remind myself and others that not all doctors are evil. >_>

psalm_onethirtyone: (Annie with Red Hair)
I am declaring my major on Wednesday, assuming I can get all the necessary paperwork signed by then--I still need advisor signatures, but I have classes with both my advisors before Wednesday, so my evil plan is to corner them after said classes and flail at them until they sign. It should work.

I'm writing a paper about red clover and cancer, but every single scientific article on red clover and cancer is written in language so aggressively scientific that I have absolutely no idea what they are trying to say, please see this (wtf) and this (wtf wtf) and this (derp derp derp). Last week I was researching gynaecology in rural India and the articles made more sense than this. Good Christ.

Fourteen people failed this third O.chem II exam; I don't know whether I'm one of them or whether my magic (last year I got 74, or a B-, on every single exam, and this year so far I've gotten 71 on every exam) is still protecting me. I won't find out for a while yet.

I'm not exactly happy right now but I'm not depressed. It's sort of a neutral in-between zone. I feel like someone who is working and getting by. I think that's accurate. The lady in my icon has always kind of reminded me of someone who works and gets by, and since my hair is the same colour as hers right now I'm willing to go with that.

Also, Mama brought me my cross on a new chain when she visited. I haven't worn it for three months because it was at the jeweller's. It feels so good to have it back again.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Gross Things are Cool!)
Dear Mr. Doctor:

Not being able to afford healthcare is not a moral failing, nor is it a fact that if people chose they could "give up their addictions" to things like cars and mortgage payments.

Thank you and good-night.

p.s. Was your cologne 'eau de white male entitlement'? I think you applied it a little heavily this morning. Just thought you should know.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Lovey & Me)
I am getting this done on the nineteenth. I am kind of delighted and amazed.

(It's for a class. But hey. She's going to try to heal the sadness in my tissues. Possibly there will be tuning forks! She also invited me to a thing with a medium who will channel spiritual energy and give us messages from higher powers. I would SO GO if I had twenty-five dollars to drop on something that would be solely for my own personal fascination with human nature and the spirituality of others (especially in a small town like Huntingdon where most of the people are extremely conservative). Maaaan.)

Only two doctors left to get shadowing appts with, and of course they're both CAM. One I'm calling to-morrow because she was away last week, and the other is just trying to stress me out by not existing but I'll track her down anyway. >:D

I really need to get started with my journalling for this class. Oi.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Mine has SPACE PRIESTS)
Well, I have no idea what to do with my life, for the record.

I'm still doing med school prerequisites, and working on my religion major, and actually planning my senior thesis, which I am really psyched about, but I have no idea what kind of career I want and whether I should still bother trying to get into med school, after the disaster of my internship.

And I think maybe the Depakote is making me more depressed. I don't know whether that's unreasonable or not; I just feel like I've been sadder lately. But maybe that's just me. I wish I knew.

I go from being really happy to kind of wanting to find a quiet place to cry, which is where I am now. But I'm also reading about saints, which I think is cool and I really like, so maybe I just need to go and hide somewhere with my saints book and see if that helps.

I wish I didn't feel so weird and inconclusive.
psalm_onethirtyone: (Dye My Eyes and Call Me Pretty)
scatterbox again:

Worked in drug and alcohol rehab to-day. It was really actually pretty great, and a really nice facility--infinitely better than the ward I went to when I was in the hospital for my bipolar. Colour me really, really impressed. They take dual diagnosis, polysubstance, &c, and their psychiatrist appears to have a clue what he's doing (I sat in on clinical report, which was officially the longest meeting I've ever been in but in no way the boringest; so I got to listen to him talk for around an hour).

Another vaginal bleed pt. yesterday. Dr. Jesus would definitely have a job in our WHW.

Am going in to-morrow for a meeting with a possible mental health counsellor person thingy for possible therapy while I'm here. May fall through.

Mama said to me on Sunday, "It's awful that you have all those ugly scars. You look awful." Had not really thought before about it. I do, up my left arm and down my back, from when I was cutting regularly, and down both legs, as well as the little knot at the small of my back from my surgery, and the one across my forehead from when I was little. I had not really thought of them as ugly before, just as being.

I kind of enjoyed this article a lot.

I have no idea what is going on in my Arthurian murder mystery. Wtfeven.
psalm_onethirtyone: (You Done Good)
a handful of stuff:

Teeny Tiny Old Hospice Patient: [proudly] That's my grandson's picture! He's a teacher. He has nine autistic kids right now.
Hospice Nurse: [to Soujin, kindly, under her breath] She means artistic.

why do teenage boys smell so funny? I've changed my mind, I'm not bi, I'm a lesbian. ick. and he changed HIS mind, so I didn't get to see a cryo treatment yesterday.

took the pink pill. turns out the rabbit hole is full of sleep.

[ profile] petitmorte wtf kill me.

got my first parking ticket yesterday, did NOT have a nervous breakdown, did NOT cry on the police officer, really pleased about that. of course, still have to pay the ticket. not crying means they don't decide to waive the fine.

secretary called me up to hospice to-day: hey, nancy, dr. [soujin] is here from afp. that was kind of an ego-booster, let's be honest.

One Week's Shadow )
psalm_onethirtyone: (Grow a Little Good)
Soon I will be doing a primer on psalms (DON'T SAY A WORD. THAT IS VERY SRS BSNS), but for now I just want you to know that my father thinks I am going to die because I tripped on the sidewalk in the rain yesterday and took all the skin off my knee and part of my leg. He made some reference to 'deadly sidewalk bacteria', I don't even know, anyway so far all it's doing is draining cirrus fluid like a mother and I am kind of regretting the fact that I only took my cute pink Hello Kitty bandaids to Altoona with me. Because they are not really big enough to do anything for this denudation (I took photographs! because I am a person who does things like that).

SO to-morrow I go to Williamsburg. I am allotting myself about fifteen to twenty minutes for getting lost. I am excited, though, I think it will be fun. I know I'm on pediatrics on Friday, but I don't know what I'll be doing the rest of the week. Oh, and Thursday is OMT day, so basically we wander around watching people get therapeutic massage all day long. Maybe they will therapeutically massage me if I ask nicely.

IN THE MEANTIME I would like recommendations for the following:


INDULGE ME. And if you are not familiar with Heroes or Trek, then I demand other fic, specifically Arthurianslash in any form from anyone who dabbles in it.

(I am a little manic to-day. But good! Should I have eggs or leftover chicken for supper?)
psalm_onethirtyone: (Our Lesson)
Well, my life has always been a series of disasters of different kinds--big disasters, little disasters, the housing disaster--which I managed to fix myself, by finding the one room in Altoona that was willing to rent for six weeks for under five-hundred dollars--the car disaster--they didn't tell me that this internship requires a car, and I haven't got one, so we're currently trying to fix that problem, but for now I am biking the mile and a half between my home and the home office; once I have transportation I will be going to the Williamsburg and other rural offices. It's a little overwhelming.

Also on the way home to-day I stopped to buy groceries, and when I got out of the store it was pouring rain--I walked through it, and I've finally started to try off, but my crackers are somewhat damp. I bought crackers and cheese and bread and peanut butter and rice cakes and some soup and a rotisserie chicken, and that's what I'll be living off for the next three weeks, probably, but I can handle that.

Anyway, yesterday I stopped in Huntingdon to get the key for my room and the lady's dog was having her first litter of puppies, and the lady was having a panic attack, so I was impromptu midwife to a prize-winning Shitzu. For some reason she couldn't figure out what to do with the puppies once she got them out, so I had to tear the amniotic sac, and as soon as I'd done that she got right to work cleaning the puppies and eating the placenta and all the normal stuff, so she was fine, she just didn't touch them while they weren't breathing or moving and I had to help with that. And I got blood and amniotic fluid all over me, but it was worth it.

And now I am exhausted and think that I will take a nap. I am really working, guys, forty hours a week, eight to five with an hour for lunch. One of the doctors made us do treatment plans for his patients to-day, it was amazing, I got to write up differentials and treatments and roleplay an office visit for a patient with epilepsy.

Okay! Nap!


psalm_onethirtyone: (Default)

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