Whoever Dances is One with the Universe

Tuesday's New York Times science section had an article this week on old people getting plastic surgery. That, coupled with my post from Tuesday, has led me to a rather icky discovery of something I did admittedly kind of already know. Which is that we kind of have this ideal, in America -- I don't know how it is in other cultures, having dog-paddled but never really been immersed in any other than American -- that old people are supposed to be adorable grandparents.

Old ladies are supposed to be tiny and do knitting, or fat and do baking, and old men are supposed to whittle things and dispense pithy pieces of wisdom and fix neighbourhood bikes. They're allowed to be lonely, but only so they can adopt small children as honourary grandchildren or be used to shame us generally into spending more time with our own old people. If they're bad-tempered or put their makeup on all over their faces or have to wear Attends or sag in random places, we turn them into the subjects of honestly very mean-spirited comedy.

And I'm not trying to say that everybody needs to go out and adopt some isolated nursing-home inmate, but really I think it's wrong both to idealise old age or to make fun of it. Idealising it removes us from all the problems that come with getting old and also makes it look like people who don't fit the ideal are defective -- hence, I think, things like old-person plastic surgery. I mean, Jesus Christ, this one woman in the article spent seventy-seven thou on facelifts to get rid of wrinkles and implants to cope with sagging breasts. She's eighty. At eighty, people should not have to focusing on this kind of thing. I cannot even count all the better ways to spend that money to enrich one's own life or someone else's. And at the same time this whole "lol let's as a culture shame old people and send them the message that once you are old your usefulness has ended and you should keep out of sight" thing is absolutely heinous.

The thing is, old people are just like everybody else, in that they deserve to be treated with respect. Whether they bake you apple pies and tell stories of their children, or have Alzheimer's and scream at you and refuse to bathe or -- like one old lady I visited while I was working -- have to be talked out of suicide. I've really kind of run the spectrum of old person personality types; I've had an adorable old man who wanted me to meet his cat and showed me around his house and called his wife "Mom", I've had a hilarious old lady with MS who was wheelchair-bound and showed me how to lift her from her chair to her toilet, I had an old man who was totally bedridden and with whom I communicated through really patchy hand signals, and an old lady who threatened to punch me while I was giving her her bath. And every single one of them deserved my respect and the best care I could give them, by virtue of being human beings. And I really hope that's how I've carried myself throughout this summer, and how I do for the rest of my life, because that's not just true of old people, it's true of everyone.

Which is not to say it wasn't hilarious when my one old gentleman had me burn a bonfire made of used Depends, or when Audrey (my Wednesday client) stole the dated brick from a condemned schoolhouse down the street from her apartment (actually, Audrey always does something funny when I visit. ♥ She makes me squee).

In other, non-soapboxy news, I stopped by Michael's to-day to enjoy my new and undoubtedly brief period of solvency. It's been about a whole week since I was over, so they already have about eleven-thousand new products in the scrapbooking section, and I was amazed and ... hilarified? amused is too gentle a word, I think. Hilarified to find that you can now buy adhesive metal gears and keys for your scrapbooking or cardmaking projects. At this point, I'm starting to think that 'steampunkery' should be a word in much the same way 'fuckery' is. I may start using it. "What kind of steampunkery is this?" I will say, staring in disbelief at the fact that you can now buy tiny watch faces as embellishments. They discontinued my goddamn copper pearlised dots that I use for eyes, but they've started producing tiny glitter-covered top hats and monocles that are already adhesive-backed.

Naturally I eschewed this silliness and instead managed to spend seventy-five dollars (!!!!) on scrapbook paper and cake glitter, and that embellished tape I've had my eye on for about six months now. >_>

I also went to Target and discovered that it is nearly impossible to find a black, wire-free bra in 38B. Did you know that there are a lot of black, wire-free bras in the nursing section? There are. There are a lot fewer in regular. But I got to embarrass a teenage male cashier by buying bras and underpants, and I found The Most Beautiful Scarf in the World, which I purchased because of its aesthetic qualities and also I love scarves and also it helps me pretend winter is NOW DAMMIT.

To-morrow I work at the library, and Saturday we are going to our vacation in the mountains. I look forward to sitting in the sun by the lake doing crossword puzzles and reading all day, as well as the greased-watermelon water polo that has become something of a family tradition. Also Maria's birthday! I finished her calender and everything. :D

I would say that to-day was a success.

I:

got to start watching the Illbleed Let's Play; finally got my paycheque; am not working until Wednesday; had ice cream and black raspberries; got my toenails painted rainbow by a lady at church; had a nap to-day; had a bicycle ride to-day; am planning to make cupcakes to-morrow with the fresh cherries we didn't can; got to ride in Maria's Miata; have the cutest fishies in the world; DON'T WORK UNTIL WEDNESDAY; found out strawberries can prevent/cure cancer; got a Tom Waits album from Maria's boyfriend; will sleep in to-morrow.

And it wasn't a million degrees outside, either.

Mmm, summer.

Happy barricade day pt. 1!

My job is going really well so far -- it's pretty tiring, but I do like it a lot. Pretty much I just go to the houses of homebound people and do housework, chores, make meals, and do personal care, so not bad. The toughest part has been giving bed baths to one of my ladies, just because she has a hard time moving and I'm so anxious about accidentally hurting her while getting her to shift around for me.

Maria, meanwhile, is loving her job as a state bee inspector. We kind of play a game where we joke about whose job is worse, but I always win, because no matter how many times she says bee stings or sketchy Mennonites, I can always say bedpans and get an instant victory. :P

I am also still getting along nicely on my sekrit summer project -- set up the first of my dates with the photographer. Very cool! So excited! :D :D :D

Other than that I am fairly boring. I tend to come home in the evening and be too tired for anything involving much activity or brain power, although Maria did talk me into a fairly strenuous bike ride to-day which nearly killed me, but then we picked wild strawberries on the bank on our way home. Everything is so beautiful it's absolutely crazy. It either smells like honeysuckle or cow manure, both of which are glorious smells in their own right, and the hayfields are all being mown (we brought in three-hundred and eighty-eight bales over the last week, plus two-hundred that we sold outright). Three turkey poults have hatched, two more are on the way, and we get thirty chicks on Friday (keets a little later). The farm down the road has ducklings and calves. I love it so much.

Anyway, to-morrow I work! From one to nine, which is kind of a stupid shift, but whatevs.

Mama is actually getting kind of excited to meet Jen, to whom she refers only as "that girl you like", so that is promising, although I hope it doesn't make it too awkward when they finally do meet.

Yeah. As I said, a bit boring really. But doing well!

So to-day I:

--lined up a job interview for to-morrow
--cleaned the brooder shed
--papered the brooder shed and set it up for the broody turkey
--made my very first planter!
--fished a dead rat out of the pond
--fished Sam's cribbing collar out of the mire in the back of the barn
--established that there are no dead kittens in the barn, so if they did drown in the mire their mama removed the bodies
--fell out of the haymow, and now have skinned legs
--made my parents watch Eddie Izzard's "Dress to Kill"
--cleaned and decorated my room, unpacked and put away all my school things
--organised my closet
--staked one of the hops.

It's not bad, I don't think, considering I didn't wake up until 1.30 and it's my first day back. >_> Also, raanve, I would never have gotten through cleaning the brooder shed without your mix. ALSO, I think I found us a Lanselos/Saigremort song.

Going to mhari's house on the twelfth! So excited.

Also, FOR THE RECORD, my fish recognise the sound of my voice. I've been conducting experiments, and it's honestly true. They only surface for me, and they do it when I sing their food song, whether or not I throw down food (although that latter bit is pure Pavlovian stuff). COOL.

You guys I do not want to brag but since I so rarely feel this way I think it is okay to say: I look fucking amazing to-day.

I am wearing rainbow striped socks in gorgeous rich autumn colours, and I found a bracelet that is the actual match to the necklace mhari bought me the first time I visited here--I think they are actually supposed to be a set, which is crazy, because I got the bracelet last week at a random thrift store. It is blue and sparkly and has glass butterflies and flowers and an identical chain and clasp and colour to the necklace. SO COOL. I had to buy it, even though it was a little pricey, because it was so awesome to have a bracelet that went with that necklace! And I am wearing the blue and silver earrings that mhari made me.

And I have on a black lace-edged tank top with a black button-down men's shirt, only the shirt has pinstripes sewn into it with sparkly black thread. And my skirt is from Coldwater Creek, only I got it at the same thrift store where I found my bracelet for only seven dollars! Which is more than I'd pay for a skirt, usually (I prefer under five), but it was so beautiful and the original price tag said 118 dollars, so I didn't feel that bad. It is deep rich brown with alternate panels of gauze taffeta and silk, and the panels are embroidered with flowers and vines in thread, copper ribbon, copper sequins, copper beads, copper-brown silk, and the occasional flower-shaped copper charm. It is so gorgeous. And it floats when I spin around.

And it happens that just the shape of everything I am wearing actually makes my body look all right, and my hair is super cute to-day, and my skin is relatively clear for once, and I feel really, really pretty. And this is after I had ice cream with Mama! So that's really good for me, I'm really delighted, actually.

Also, you should know that I am researching sex with octopodes (a la the Dream of the Fisherman's Wife and others) for an actual school project. If you know me very well, then you know that makes my life just about perfect right now.

edit post scriptum: a girl on my hall just came and invited me over for cake! :D :D :D

Aaron linked me to this amazing game, which will suck your soul in hardcore. Luckily, it plays pretty quickly--there are only about sixteen levels. And it's a lot of fun!

The herb shop here is doing Facebook trivia where they post their number and a question about an herb and if you call in first with the right answer you win the plant. I just won an oregano. :D

Finals are over and done with and I go home to-morrow, thank God. It is past time and I am more than ready. This morning Steph and I walked into town and went thrift store shopping, which I really shouldn't have done but she was super stressed out and needed a break, so that was more important. She got four very cute dresses, and I got a skirt and a jean halter dress that I will never wear because I'm not pretty enough. Then we stopped at the organic cafe and got smoothies, because she said she wanted to spend money on me. >_> We went with her service dog, who is a darling.

We re-homed Mabon, because a friend of Mama's has a bigger home for him and it's not close to the road so she can let him be an outdoor cat, which is what he really wants. Meanwhile, I have kittens waiting for me, because a barn cat had them in our barn. So yay! Kittens!

And on Wednesday I got to mhari! That is the best of all.

Now I am going to see if anyone will indulge me in watching Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus.

My second day doing capoeira. I'm learning in a group, which as it turns out is a really good way for me to learn. There's also a degree of humility involved--besides the fact that you get knocked over a lot, I was doing jenga with Gabby and I kept hitting her because she wouldn't hit me, and I stopped and told her just to go ahead, I wouldn't mind if she hit me, just do it, and Charlie leaned over from where he was doing it with Liz and slapped me in the face. Which I deserved, because I left myself open, and I was getting over-confident because Gabby wouldn't hit me.

After that we did a lot better. She kicked me and I kicked her and we both got really good at dodging each other and at falling back into the jenga after we'd kicked. I felt like we were really finding a rhythm in it. Which felt wonderful.

Also, I'm learning to stand on my head! Maybe someday I will even get to be any good at it.

The copy of Port Eternity I bought as a gift to myself came to-day! I will get to it as soon as I finish the reading for my historiographic report. Or maybe I will give up on having time for it until I'm home. Still, I'm going to read it within the next month. That is my vow.

For my report, I am reading Helen Waddel's translations of Beasts and Saints and her teeny little book Poetry in the Dark Ages. I've only started the former so far, but it's awfully fun. Basically they are tiny, tiny little fables of saints doing stuff with animals, often with a little moral, but sometimes not, sometimes just kind of "oh look how awesome these saints were, look what they could do!"

My favourite so far is The Unsociable Lion, which I will reproduce for you here in full.

There was a certain old man, a solitary, who lived near the river Jordan: and going into a cave because of the heat he found there a lion: and the lion began to gnash his teeth and to roar. To whom the old man said, "What is annoying thee? There is room enough here to hold both me and thee. And if thou likest it not, arise and go hence." But the lion, not taking it well, left and went outside.

Most of them are in this vein. Best. Project. Evar.

Panicking in the lab until five o'clock Tuesday PAID OFF. I was the first person done with my assessment to-day and I did a good job! The professor even smiled at me. Plus that means I'm done now, as opposed to at 5:00, which is when the lab is actually supposed to be over.

Now I am sitting in Von Liebig Temple to Science eating my lunch FINALLY while it pelts down rain outside. I am not going out there until things have calmed down a little.

ALSO, I apparently have a package. I am excited to find out what it is.

post scriptum I need to get my sewing kit and sew all my buttons back on. Good lord.

post post scriptum OH MY WORD IT'S SNOWING.